By Michal Lloyd
In a world dominated by technology, face-to-face interaction often feels undervalued. Yet, our faces are educators far superior to any screen. My husband shared a touching moment about his daughter. He was engrossed in a newspaper when she, just a toddler, climbed onto his lap, pulled down the paper, and said, “Read me, Daddy.” This wasn’t just a cute moment; it was a powerful reminder of how much she needed to see and be seen by her father.
The experience highlighted the innate human need for face-to-face connection. We learn best from observing each other. Screens have their place, but they can’t replicate the nuances of in-person interactions. From the subtle arch of an eyebrow to the heartfelt curve of a smile, our faces convey a wealth of information that screens can’t match. These interactions are crucial for our children’s learning and development.
Face-to-face interactions spark the release of oxytocin, often called the bonding hormone. This hormone fosters trust and social bonding while lowering stress levels. The biological responses triggered during in-person interactions underscore their power in building relationships, driving collaboration, and nurturing a sense of community. Just as my husband’s moment with his daughter illustrated the deep need for connection, these interactions underline their significance in forming strong social ties. The impact of in-person interaction on our families is profound, fostering an environment ripe for learning and growth. I remember being down on the floor playing with my daughter and her dolls. Despite having a pile of toys, she created little dolls from toilet paper and rubber bands. These moments were not just playtime but valuable lessons in creativity, patience, and mutual respect. Pulling myself away from other tasks wasn’t always easy, but being fully present made a difference. Engaging with our children without the distraction of devices allows both parties to learn and grow. For little children, playing can go deep. Their ability to concentrate is impressive. As parents, the challenge often lies with us tuning in fully while our children are already present and eager. It’s not the kids who are tuned out; it’s us. So, let’s tune in.
In our busy lives, this can be challenging. However, setting aside specific times to disconnect from devices and engage in in-person activities can make a significant difference. Simple strategies like setting device-free hours or creating a dedicated family space free from screens can help. Regular family dinners are among the best ways to ensure face-to-face interaction. These meals offer a unique opportunity to bond, share, and learn. Research shows that families who dine together regularly reduce the chances of children misusing drugs and alcohol. Beyond that, these dinners teach children essential social skills and manners, fostering a sense of belonging and security.
Do you know that feeling when your kid looks up at you with those big, curious eyes, soaking in what you say? That’s the kind of magic you can’t get from a screen. Research supports this—face-to-face interactions form a feedback loop essential for a child’s development. When kids see us smile or soften with understanding, they learn emotional cues and responses in real time. Screens, conversely, act like one-way streets; they don’t provide the rich, nuanced feedback that helps kids develop empathy and understand social norms. So, next time you’re tempted to hand over the tablet, remember that nothing beats the real deal when connecting with your kids.
Humans naturally mirror each other. This mechanism is vital for our development, socialization, and skill acquisition. When we interact face-to-face, we transmit valuable social information about goals and motivations. Our children, in turn, learn these cues, helping them navigate the world more effectively. When a child looks at a device, there is no reflection, no feedback. It’s in these face-to-face moments that real learning and growth occur.
The importance of face-to-face interaction cannot be overstated. From mutual learning and presence to family dinners and the mirroring mechanism, these interactions play a crucial role in our children’s development. After all, our faces are our best teachers.
And just like when my husband’s daughter crawled into his lap and said, “Read me, Daddy,” it’s a reminder of the profound impact of simply being present. In these shared moments, we find the essence of connection—the true magic of being fully present with our children.
Looking for more opportunities to have face-to-face interaction with your youth? Visit eattogetheridaho.org to download Eat Together Idaho’s Family Meal Guide filled with recipes, conversation starters, activities, and more!
Research:
Face-to-Face Interaction and Child Development:
Psychophysiological effects of oxytocin on parent-child interactions: A literature review on how oxytocin affects parent-child interactions and development.
Family dinner meal frequency and adolescent development: This research links the frequency of family dinners to reduced high-risk behaviors in adolescents.